The ‘Baahubali’s of Social cool’ world

With a complex subject such as Humans and their behavior, which is compounded complex, it never tires or ceases my enthusiasm and just like an excited 9 years old on a Christmas morning, I bring to you few observations that will not only make you look super cool but ‘Baahubali Cool’ in your social circle and Social media. With Olympics fever in air and chatters among the cafeteria tables about the details on winnings from the previous nights, criticizing authors/writers twitterati on their anti Indian Tweets is now perceived as the new ‘Cool’.

 

If you want to be the new Social Cool and to gain instant brownie points in terms of social likes, pride among peers & lunch group, the simplest of the way is to mock the Mocked or the opinionated. Voila!! you instantly get followers around you, an imagery bouquet of flowers, praise and friends from your social peers and people who would eventually end your statements. But, be vary, it is not as simple as it sounds. It requires years of practice to execute the mockery at the right time and many times the oppressed from the other side who has faced the situation are the best in doing to others. There are stages that you may want to  know in this which I would take you through –

1. Know the Subject inside out or Whatever: You may debate on a topic for hours and hours if you have the knowledge base but in case of being the new Social Cool, you can skip the details and may just glance the topic for a few seconds ago or have heard about it on Radio but then you allow your mind to create the rest of the story and your are prepped for discussions or even verbal war in dark times. You see, the actual knowledge will only bow you down so ignore the details, trust me.
2. Find a group/cluster (Losers) ( preferable 7 people or more): Now that doesn’t seem to be a trouble in India with a population base of more than 1.3 Bil and ever growing. You will sight such clusters in every corner of the road and turns. Most of them now prefer Social Media presence like Twitter/ Facebook to be more important than the physical presence. Even though their bodies float around in the physical world, their minds are alert and present in the Virtual world to challenge their prey or post a selfie(with pout).
3. Identify the weak / Opinionated in that group ( Your target who would take your mockery) : Now this is going to be simple, see the one individual that speaks east when the world speaks west…… That’s it…That’s the one. See no further, you have found your prey. Now act social by smiling, greeting and completing others statement first, to be socially accepted and wait for the mark.
4. (Carefully) Listen to the Prey and Launch yourself: Time has come when you listen to your prey and without letting him/her complete the story you shout the exact opposite. You raise your voice, make concerned facial expression, flap your hands as if you need to fly. Do not stop there…..Go all ammo out! get the poor class in, society in, country in and do not leave the GOD out. Try to blame the government for the corruption, education and trains that are always late. Fake a tear and shout again for honor among men code till the time your prey is appears to be a fool by others in the group and then continue with the arrows of word till he/she is either crying or running away. Chant the mantra and make sure, others chant too. Totally annihilate his existence and question the upbringing.
5. Conclude with a Glory: Fake an expression of sense of pride, smirk and be silent now to appear as the ‘Alpha’ in the pack and let others finish the job on your behalf. Give them a chance…… this is a team work. Make sure, that the social and emotional life of your prey is wrecked forever. He/she should not to be seen in in their seat at office, toilet, cafeteria, water corners, having a walk in Sun post lunch and also banish their social media accounts till they apologize to you and society, and country and GOD. Make sure they do not walk out in sun again and if they do so……circle them and attack them repeatedly with point number 4, till they regret coming out.

There you Go! this is my Mantra for your social success. You know this has worked many times and will also work in coming future. Some examples are – The PMO Twitter attacks of flying around world and not staying in India. Arvind Kejriwal, the Homosexual around world, the people who write nasty tweets about Indian Olympic Players winning silver on Social Media ( How dare they…..) and especial in India sub-continent…. People who don’t worship cricket as their first religion ( To hell with other sports….but we need medals in Olympics).

 

https://twitter.com/assistant_ozil/status/766302132785991680?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

So there you go my friends…(Actually the invisible ones who read my blog). It’s time you snatch the Glory of being super cool and be the ruler of the Social world. FYI….. posting Match updates score by score and forwards are so mainstream now. That will not fetch you enough likes or fan following. Try something new like this……..stop making Grammar errors to get extra clicks on your post. Be genuine killing machine and gain your glory. Compare your followers like ‘Before and After’ scenarios of a fat burning Pills & Tea commercials. Our sentiments have taken a clear turn from humanity to Popularity and responses have become radioactive and petty for gaining the status “Baahubali’s of Social Cool” The ‘humans’ have never cease to impress me with their behavior….. so what’s your next move around me?

 

 

 

Old by age, Young at Heart.

I read a following tale quoted in a social newsletter circulated for just 15.00 INR a month to spread awareness about the sufferings of ‘OLD’ age. shuffling through the pages I saw a picture of an old man and suddenly glued to his eyes, I wanted to know more. The following story gave me goosebumps and I am pretty sure it can also cause a tear to shed from your eyes as well.

The story was as follows, “When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in an Australian country town, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value. Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Melbourne. The old man’s sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas editions of magazines around the country and appearing in mags for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.

And this old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this ‘anonymous’ poem winging across the Internet. 

Cranky Old Man

What do you see nurses?……What do you see? 

What are you thinking .. .when you’re looking at me?

A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise,

Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . .. with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food .. . … . . and makes no reply.

When you say in a loud voice . .’I do wish you’d try!’

Who seems not to notice . . .the things that you do.

And forever is losing . . . . . .. . . A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not . . . … lets you do as you will,

With bathing and feeding . . . .The long day to fill?

Is that what you’re thinking?. .Is that what you see?

Then open your eyes, nurse .you’re not looking at me.

I’ll tell you who I am . . . . .. As I sit here so still,

As I do at your bidding, .. . . . as I eat at your will.

I’m a small child of Ten . .with a father and mother,

Brothers and sisters .. . . .. . who love one another

A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. with wings on his feet

Dreaming that soon now . . .. . . a lover he’ll meet.

A groom soon at Twenty . . . ..my heart gives a leap.

Remembering, the vows .. .. .that I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . . . . .I have young of my own.

Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home.

A man of Thirty . .. . . . . My young now grown fast,

Bound to each other . . .. With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons .. .have grown and are gone,

But my woman is beside me . . to see I don’t mourn.

At Fifty, once more, .. …Babies play ’round my knee,

Again, we know children . . . . My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me . . . . My wife is now dead.

I look at the future … . . . . I shudder with dread.

For my young are all rearing .. . . young of their own.

And I think of the years . . . And the love that I’ve known.

I’m now an old man . . . . . . .. and nature is cruel.

It’s jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.

The body, it crumbles .. .. . grace and vigour, depart.

There is now a stone . . . where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass . A young man still dwells,

And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells

I remember the joys . . . . .. . I remember the pain.

And I’m loving and living . . . . . . . life over again.

I think of the years, all too few . . .. gone too fast.

And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last.

So open your eyes, people .. . . . .. . . open and see.

Not a cranky old man .

Look closer . . . . see .. .. . .. …. . ME!!”

Finally I saw the eyes of the OLD man, who was no longer an ordinary old man but and an OLD man by age but a Young Lad at Heart. The 15 INR social newsletter gave a million dollars worth a read. You never know what you bump into next as the best and most beautiful things of this world can’t be seen or touched, they must be felt by the heart!

(Courtesy originally by Phyllis McCormack; adapted by Dave Griffith)