The ‘Baahubali’s of Social cool’ world

With a complex subject such as Humans and their behavior, which is compounded complex, it never tires or ceases my enthusiasm and just like an excited 9 years old on a Christmas morning, I bring to you few observations that will not only make you look super cool but ‘Baahubali Cool’ in your social circle and Social media. With Olympics fever in air and chatters among the cafeteria tables about the details on winnings from the previous nights, criticizing authors/writers twitterati on their anti Indian Tweets is now perceived as the new ‘Cool’.

 

If you want to be the new Social Cool and to gain instant brownie points in terms of social likes, pride among peers & lunch group, the simplest of the way is to mock the Mocked or the opinionated. Voila!! you instantly get followers around you, an imagery bouquet of flowers, praise and friends from your social peers and people who would eventually end your statements. But, be vary, it is not as simple as it sounds. It requires years of practice to execute the mockery at the right time and many times the oppressed from the other side who has faced the situation are the best in doing to others. There are stages that you may want to  know in this which I would take you through –

1. Know the Subject inside out or Whatever: You may debate on a topic for hours and hours if you have the knowledge base but in case of being the new Social Cool, you can skip the details and may just glance the topic for a few seconds ago or have heard about it on Radio but then you allow your mind to create the rest of the story and your are prepped for discussions or even verbal war in dark times. You see, the actual knowledge will only bow you down so ignore the details, trust me.
2. Find a group/cluster (Losers) ( preferable 7 people or more): Now that doesn’t seem to be a trouble in India with a population base of more than 1.3 Bil and ever growing. You will sight such clusters in every corner of the road and turns. Most of them now prefer Social Media presence like Twitter/ Facebook to be more important than the physical presence. Even though their bodies float around in the physical world, their minds are alert and present in the Virtual world to challenge their prey or post a selfie(with pout).
3. Identify the weak / Opinionated in that group ( Your target who would take your mockery) : Now this is going to be simple, see the one individual that speaks east when the world speaks west…… That’s it…That’s the one. See no further, you have found your prey. Now act social by smiling, greeting and completing others statement first, to be socially accepted and wait for the mark.
4. (Carefully) Listen to the Prey and Launch yourself: Time has come when you listen to your prey and without letting him/her complete the story you shout the exact opposite. You raise your voice, make concerned facial expression, flap your hands as if you need to fly. Do not stop there…..Go all ammo out! get the poor class in, society in, country in and do not leave the GOD out. Try to blame the government for the corruption, education and trains that are always late. Fake a tear and shout again for honor among men code till the time your prey is appears to be a fool by others in the group and then continue with the arrows of word till he/she is either crying or running away. Chant the mantra and make sure, others chant too. Totally annihilate his existence and question the upbringing.
5. Conclude with a Glory: Fake an expression of sense of pride, smirk and be silent now to appear as the ‘Alpha’ in the pack and let others finish the job on your behalf. Give them a chance…… this is a team work. Make sure, that the social and emotional life of your prey is wrecked forever. He/she should not to be seen in in their seat at office, toilet, cafeteria, water corners, having a walk in Sun post lunch and also banish their social media accounts till they apologize to you and society, and country and GOD. Make sure they do not walk out in sun again and if they do so……circle them and attack them repeatedly with point number 4, till they regret coming out.

There you Go! this is my Mantra for your social success. You know this has worked many times and will also work in coming future. Some examples are – The PMO Twitter attacks of flying around world and not staying in India. Arvind Kejriwal, the Homosexual around world, the people who write nasty tweets about Indian Olympic Players winning silver on Social Media ( How dare they…..) and especial in India sub-continent…. People who don’t worship cricket as their first religion ( To hell with other sports….but we need medals in Olympics).

 

https://twitter.com/assistant_ozil/status/766302132785991680?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

So there you go my friends…(Actually the invisible ones who read my blog). It’s time you snatch the Glory of being super cool and be the ruler of the Social world. FYI….. posting Match updates score by score and forwards are so mainstream now. That will not fetch you enough likes or fan following. Try something new like this……..stop making Grammar errors to get extra clicks on your post. Be genuine killing machine and gain your glory. Compare your followers like ‘Before and After’ scenarios of a fat burning Pills & Tea commercials. Our sentiments have taken a clear turn from humanity to Popularity and responses have become radioactive and petty for gaining the status “Baahubali’s of Social Cool” The ‘humans’ have never cease to impress me with their behavior….. so what’s your next move around me?

 

 

 

Inflation revisited: a confusing chapter from Economics and it’s remedies

Hello everyone, today we discuss modern India’s Economic crunch with the reference of inflation. The Financial shift in India’s Gross Domestic Product(GDP) as claimed by the white collar babus, burning several liters of fuel in age-old Ambassadors mostly confuses us rather than settling us with a straight answer. The fact remains, India is a growing economy even though the time required for India to make decisions are long enough for toddlers to step into college. The ultimate questions, “Slow but steady, How is India growing?” is to some extent answered in Rama Bijapurkar’s ‘We are like that only’.

Let us start with an example, You earn an Income which is then divided in two segments: Savings(s) or investments(I) and Expenditure(e) or consumption(c).Hence considering the Income(y) for Government, it would be a submission of the entire Savings and Consumption of the country. Therefore y = s + c, However there is some editing to this equation. The money that is saved in Banks, or invested in shares and stocks or any other mode is then invested by Banks, Government or some other body in other programs. This Investments are mostly loaned to industries for increasing the production of Finished goods and there is an increases in consumption. Hence with increase in Savings(s), consumption(c) increases as well.

The GDP which is defined as the total production of goods and service produced in the country for that year is affected tremendously every year. Moreover, Imports and exports play an important role in shaping the country’s GDP. The anti-social elements like Corruption and Bribery cause a leakage in the income and saving structure of the country. Based on the amount collected in the Government’s kitty, which is the RBI- Reserve Bank of India, the Government further plans the Fiscal and monetary policies for the country.

Inflation: The traditional definition states that when Income of the country grows eventually with the growth in the prices of the commodities, steadily over a period of time is known as Inflation. However when the prices increases and income is unchanged or commodities price remain the same with fall in income causes commotion in the masses. This economic rift created is major reasons for erosion in the purchasing power of money. The unemployment increases due to cost cutting and again the GDP decreases.

To tackle such a brouhaha, simple steps maintain your economic standards even when the market is unstable.

Investment in Gold: It is observed that the day you plan to make an investment in gold, it is the cheapest that day. Buy gold when the market is facing a lull as the price of gold has never seen a steep slope but always has been on an upward swing.

Secure investments in the Growing Sectors: Plan a to-do list for investment and consult an expert. The low risk companies in growing sector in recent times for example Pharmaceutical or telecommunications or etc. are secure to invest with options like mutual funds or stock options.

The Growth plans by Banks may also fall in this secure category however the returns are not high.