Matriarchal Coxswain

I was born in a free country, a country proud of it’s national heritage, culture diversity and variety. Varied regions, worshiping entities, languages & dialects and views. In my limited lifetime, I can say that our country has been progressive so far for some and stable for some but on and all, it has been quite a journey. Now for instance, females have been new emerging market for many corporations and curiosity to understand them has grown by leaps and bound. A certain mythological creature till late 2000s, women were associated in their traditional avatars of being mothers, homemakers and wife. Very recently, they have come into limelight for occupying novice positions such as CEOs of conglomerates, digital influences, story tellers, STEM innovators and motivators. But if I have to compare the progress of men in last 2 decades, I am still stuck with Moon landing in 1969.

Men have typically demonstrated a very mediocre existence since the stone age. Their chores included hunting, fishing and roaming in groups (security). after ages down the evolutionary cycles, families were just happy to have birthed a male. His only job post opening his eyes was to loiter around and stick his nose in other’s business but loved by all. On the other hand, a girl child being born and your entire future planning begins. Father gets busy with financials and dealing with societal pressure, mothers get busy with passing down her skills to next generation and finally the girls are tested at every turn and judged by all.

A transformation of a girl into womanhood is not easy. she is tested in the way she talks, walks, cooks, cleans and has to take care of families and manage a society. basically, she is an MBA Graduate even before she appears for her Higher Secondary. She is nurtured in a way where everything in future is bleak…..’ Na jaane aage kya hoga waha? Bhagwaan bharose’ Boys to men are simple, no stress of learning 21 skills before you hit 16 and with security that the previous generations has amassed in terms of wealth would be eventually for his taking. Very recently, few issues have started coming up to the surface and therefore the word ‘Equality” is resonating in many circles.

In 21st Century, the condition remains where men still engage in bar brawls and women dreams to acquire leadership roles in organisations. The later has stood the tests of time and has emerged victorious is many ways. She surely knows how to rock a cradle and rule worlds. So kind request to all men out there, if we do not lift ourselves to their standards of walking a mile in ‘Prada’ stilettos and still balancing families and work, we would be so far thrown back in time that the only comparison of our gender would be with a potato.

I agree that men are also progressing and this post is not a comparison to begin with. This post in no way puts any gender of pedestal or remarks the other. However as a connoisseur for progress it’s high time when equality is observed with all the genders, unanimously instead of asking.

Door of Opportunities

Suburbs are a magical place to nestle in this ever bustling and humming city of Mumbai and the commute, even more exciting. You learn trade, respect, humility, aerobics and fraternizing with random strangers over silly conversations. The motive is to pass time and reach your destination without feeling uninterested to travel on the same route over and over again.

My story starts with the commute from city to outside city. Frequenting the life line of Mumbai, the train bound on Western Express route, being a regular in 6:39 pm Virar. Initially, it was a task to board at Dadar and secure a spot near west-facing gate. I, for once, would admit to have engaged petty skirmishes, emotional talks, minor casualty incidents and not-so-proud verbal exchanges. Even though erratic it has centrifuged in making myself acquainted to be a regular face with the regular crowd and finally being accepted as a regular, which by the way is a highest honour amongst the commuter class.

With passage of time, I would rush from my office to catch my ride and meet my peers and when burdened with extra work at office, I would get a reminder on whatsapp about my favorite gate spot being blocked. From random strangers to people who cared and eventually good friends, trains indeed are arcane. Just like me bonding with few good people, ending up caring for random strangers, there are many who have faced this tough love by the city and get addicted to such camaraderie, a typical Mumbai Experience. After-all, we all are home-bound and pray for safe trip for everyone.

Being regular at the particular train and catching my gate spot, second from start, gave me an amazing view of the city, passing-by. The tress, rivers, small huts, traffic, horizon to see the sinking sun and other trains crossing our train. Yes! other trains plenty of other trains carrying many other passengers to their destination. One such amazing train which I am yet to figure where it starts but runs parallel to our train for Borviali destination. In know way the train is amazing but the passenger on-boarded are. Being a 12 coach car long train, first I would count them to figure out the eight car and in that the 3rd door. My eyes would be affixed on a micro-second glimpse of this stranger engrossed in her reading. A simple and modestly clad person, she would forget the ever dynamic train and all external noises only to focus with smile and read. Amazing to observe, no mobile no headphone or no chitchat in this day and age is just a sight.

I would go silent with my crowd and stare outside as if to find something that is lost for ages and I am able to spot it so close. Both the trains are just feet apart but at 40 Kms/hour it seems only logical to plant my feet and pray for another glimpse. The face visible from side is only making it more interesting to know, who is she and how does she look. With many such unanswered questions, I wanted to have courage and jump on tracks from moving train to find out more. My peeps quickly made an assessment and started with these questions that were darted towards my humble being.

Every-day, I saw her cross my train at 6:45 pm and be on its way, getting lost post Goregoan station. Once I somehow mustered all my courage and got down on Goregoan station ran the FOB towards the slow platform. She had already started moving outside the station and was on her way to rickshaw stand. With no business, I stood in the line in which she stood 12 people apart. What would I say, if we meet? how is she? what does she do? Where does she live? all these questions popping in my head. Is this a mistake or just pure adrenal, no idea but what every this is, its not a natural phenomena. Before getting into the auto, she had placed her book in the side bags that hung on her right shoulder as she turn side-ways to ascertain presence of rickshaws to populate the extinguished queue.

To my surprise, she was none other than the professional bun developer I saw at my interview. however, her hair was shorter now and she carried a look with glasses. her smile still the same filled with warmth and her eyes……. damn those eyes were passage to soul directly. She wore a smile, contended. I was thoughtlessly gazing at the sight of pure bliss. I found her missing from the office the day I joined and was wondering about her whereabouts. I went back to the station and boarded the next train to my destination.

Next day, I went to the HR and started a conversation on works-culture, employees and leadership team. With many name that were thrown out, there was a girl named Heer that was previously employed for the same role that I serve currently. She had left the organisation a week before my joining and had moved to an opportunity closer to her place, somewhere in suburbs. My heart started pumping in twice the speed. Thank God the blood didn’t pop out of ears and nose filled with joy. I felt this weird co-incidence that struck me. I asked the HR for download of her work and the contact person to reach in case I am stuck at something to understand. The HR replied, Heer can be reached on 98XXX XXX62 and can visit us on Saturday, once to explain the process she had set. I was calm on the face but internally there was a Bar Mitzvah being held for all my organ as my heart had finally entered the state of adulthood and understood signs of providence.

From my ‘First Official Mistake’ to my new found adventures. The life at start-up could only get interesting. Heer, you have entered into my life through this door of a second class Coach car of a Virar train that I boarded to be home bound. For me, it was nothing but magical Door of Opportunities.

First Official Mistake

I saw her and just like that….3…2…1, I fell in love. She waltz her way in to a cabin where her laptop screen was still lit bright with recent usage. Flowy blue dress, combined with that gait and I swear, it felt the place just grew 10 times more interesting. I had to have a last glance as I couldn’t miss the last glimpse of her from that fish cubical I passed by. “Start-ups are great”, I muttered. She was playing with her long curls and was invested in the moment, she collected all of them and rolled it into a bun. But missing few strand near ears, she dismantled the first, collected all back, tossed and carefully caressed all in another yet seemingly bigger and tighter one.

My interview started and I cleared 2 rounds with seniors. The HR entered the room, where I sat comfortably, to announce the last round to be with colleagues as policy for 360 degree evaluation. I was hoping to see her again and get to know her. She didn’t join me but this other lad who scooped in with excitement, for his many first of many time opportunity to interview a senior role.

I went back and never received a call. Forgotten about the incident, I carried on my streak to appear for more interviews and awaited good offers. Finally, after 3 months and 2 days to be precise, I received a mail from the same start-up where I thought I was rejected about that position. Freshers are at mercy of jobs and to work in a start-up is cumulative experience of 10 corporate years in just 3. Money was bad and I would have to make some rent adjustments but to survive in the city, it could have been worse.

Within the next hour my mail notification beeped again and to my surprise, it was an offer from the corporate house with benefits, perks, a package with advancement option and no rent adjustments, I was waiting for. I wanted to smile for my luck was shining bright that day but within minutes my smile worn off. It was either a white and black but a stable corporate life or professional bun developer in a fish cubical. I was not here or there or anymore at any place mentally. The corporate offer stood with a time line of 24 hours and I only had wished if it could have reached me 24 hours earlier, 3 months and 1 day to be precise. I called up my teacher from Alma mater and explained everything, minus the bun tying skills. Obviously, the advise for an orphan boy coupled with financial security, to live a colourful and fulfilled life outside the grays of corporate. Something was amiss. There was a look on her face while she was working, the look I was forever chasing. And finally I keyed in my revert to both the mails with a regret to one offer and acceptance to another, as the deadline was surely not to be missed.

 

Next day, the phone rang and it was the HR who wanted to check on my joining date. She sounded excited to have me in her team but asked me out of concern, if everything was okay? Hesitant to her question, I stayed mum but there were a million of things popping in my mind. How would the rent work out? I might have to find a place an hour away from work, good food joints for late night office calls, recreational spaces and travelling through local trains. After all, it was a choice to go ahead with the lively fish cubical view and ignore the 9 to 6 life, even though lucrative and stable. My mind amidst a battle zone with thoughts; which I never had a chance to air them and I was wondering about the situation as to what did I put myself into.

 

One my first day, I was smiling as it was a cheer to have a colourful life and an enigmatic death of my financial planning. 2 years of management studies and my very first office mistake.

 

Dreams Ain’t Time Bound

Standing around the corner and letting out the last puff in an attempt to sooth her nerves, she rushed back inside the building. 25 something now, Marie Sinclair was back from a 5 year long sabbatical. The place was frozen in her mind, spotless, as she left it. Memories flew by in her mind but Marie would not stop to waste another minute and rushed into the green room. She took off her jacket and found a corner for herself, Marie started to wear her ballerinas, breathing heavily but trying hard to control it, she avoided any eye contact. Determined yet scared she got up, held the horizontal bar to start the warm ups and rehearsed the choreography repeatedly. The coach gave a final call for auditions and she knew that this was it, all that she has been waiting for her life. At the back of her mind, Marie was aware that her body was not as flexible as it was 5 years back but she wanted to give a final shot at it and was ready to take her chance. With Sweaty Palms she lined with other 4 – 16 to 20 year old dancers on the stage and knew her competition now is not an easy one. She knew what she was against and it would take more than just perfect lines and finesse to impress the Judges. The bright light focused on her made it impossible to spot the five judges in the audience.

The whistle blew and the music started. Marie started well and balanced the choreography good. She smiled in between to depict her strong will and ease of performance skill. With the climax sequence, Marie knew it was time when she has to swirl thrice and do a double jump. This move had kept Marie cold for many nights but she didn’t think twice and was up for it. She swirled to take the risky leap only to expose the C-section scar she had 4 years ago and landed on her hip. Music continued and tears rolled down Marie’s face but with a faint smile, she got up to finish the piece. Marie’s Mother and here 4 year old, Sara were watching Marie from the viewer’s room. Music ended and Judges pointed out the finalist. Marie didn’t make the cut and gushed to them without the Golden ticket. Both Marie and her mother, hugged and wept as if it was the end of eternity. “I know you wanted it bad, my child but it’s okay. Let it be. Now come here and stop crying,” said the ageing mother. Marie was crying not for losing the ticket but shattering of her dreams again. Marie thought she failed herself again. Her mother consoled her exactly as she did the first time – 5 years ago. Slowly, the ladies left the building in tears and heavy hearts but hoping for a chance next year.

13 years have gone by. The same building still holds the auditions for finding the best Ballet Dancer talent for the country. Marie has crossed the same building on her way to many places but haven’t dared to enter the gates again as if something holds her back. Many students apply and many’s a dream has turned to reality. Everything is the same – the music, coaches, routines, dance choreography and the audition process. This year, like every other year, a bunch of new 16-20 year old have entered the green room chitchating about Justin Bieber and chance to tour London for their Finals. The family members were seated in the viewer zone with big screens pointing at the empty stage. The girls in the green room were called for as listed and 5 girls stood in a single file. There was pin-drop silence and spotlight blinded the contestants before they started. Judge beacon for the music and the girls synced into their choreography. 3 minutes of turns, lifts, flights, swirls and jumps with perfect landing all followed perfectly. The music ended and there was an applause. One of the Judges got up to announce, “Participants moving forward with us today are number 2, Cate Bentwak and number 4, Sara Sinclair. Rest  of you, thank you for the audition and wish you all the best.”  The lady wept in the viewers area with contentment as she has waited for 13 years for this moment while Cate and Sara jumped happily on stage.

(Figment of my imagination and fictional work – all matches to real events is purely co-incidental and not true)

Image courtesy: Google.com

Chuck Norris Versus Focused

Chuck Norris, the American martial artist and actor had bought a phenomenal change in the way the viewers perceived the ‘Hero’ actor or protagonist in movies. Well why wouldn’t the viewers be, he did everything under the sun, sang, danced, kicked the a** of the antagonist and his pack, romanced the ladies and portrayed strong sense of emotions,  which is a typical package of requirement by the ‘Hero’ Actor of any movie. With his growing popularity, his resume grew pages and now it is a book. Over the years, with other tasks that performed by Mr. Norris were splitting atoms with bare hands, counting to infinity twice, breaking a bullet with knife, creating tornadoes with high speed rotation of his arms and so many more activities that could be read on www.chucknorris.com . But the highest prestige for this American actor, is after years of entertainment delivered by him, he is still followed vividly by his fans and has disciples across nations who have been equally appreciated by fans.

The legacy of Chuck Norris could have led to the comparison with Bond … James Bond 007. He has been another such character with feat accomplishments rate just like Norris and still look Suave…Ladies Killer. The idealism behind such characters was to create a persona full of qualities that is appreciated and cherished by everyone – A many talented man. This stirred the period from 70’s to 90’s but a step forward was the movie Junior starring ‘Arnold Schwarzenegger’ yet another protege of Chuck that is capable of doing everything  and goes a step ahead for birth of a child by him. This propelled the society to think if we were under limiting our abilities and many scientific research were started in the unknown directions to explore human existence. The idealism then was to be ‘Master of All’. Parents had their children programmed to jump from class to class and get flying colours in academics and co-curricular activities. Monthly charts were made and posted on Refrigerators as a constant reminder of the next activity and time schedule. To miss any class or activity was a felony and amidst all such madness was a time when kids like me took birth. We were a lazy breed and I was peculiar, in many ways. One such was, I never found any pleasure in doing 10 things together and cherished to be lazy and lay under the sun for hours doing ‘Nothing’. The problem with that was, sometimes I had no idea when did I finish doing ‘Nothing’.

Times were running and a revolution was in the air to create individuals with so many talents to either beat Chuck or come second in the race with Chuck. With increase in participation for so many activities started the phase of divide and rule, bullying and stress teenagers committing suicides if they aren’t able to bear the pressure. Teenage suicide in the United States remains comparatively high in the 15 to 24 age group with 10,000 suicides in this age range in 2004, making it the third leading cause of death for those aged 15 to 24. By comparison, suicide is the 11th leading cause of death for all those age 10 and over, with 33,289 suicides for all US citizens in 2006. (Source wiki) With alarming numbers, people realized that the era of Chuck and Bond has to be passed away for greater good. It was time to bid good-bye to high octane memories of entertainment and welcome the age of ‘Master of One‘. Well this was seemingly a way to distract the younger lot. It made them think that the societal pressure is now lenient.

(Kathleen Genevieve “Katie” Ledecky (born March 17, 1997) is an American competitive swimmer. She is a five-time Olympic gold medalist and nine-time world champion. She is the current world -record holder in the women’s 400-, 800-, and 1,500-meter freestyle (long course). She also holds the fastest-ever times in the women’s 500-, 1000-, and 1,650-yard freestyle events.)

By 2005, the 20 activities thrown on a child was now reduced to 1 only. The activity wouldn’t be just thrown at them but with their full consent and interest in the activity. Well for other non Focused kids, regular schools were always welcoming to later make up their minds. The results were staggeringly positive, these kids in 2016 grew to be better Olympian champions, chefs, designers, dancers, musicians, artists and Bullies. The kids with special focus are given focused education in their field and remain un-nurtured in other domains. Budding chefs with high skill in culinary activities but almost no knowledge of Physics, Maths or literature. Society isn’t easy on the focused one as well. The budding chefs getting rejected due to 0.0005% of lemon taste being less on Masterchef shows or a 13 year old dancer being rejected off a dance reality show just because the tours en l’air (Rotational jumps) or Saute (180 degree feet apart stance) is not as flexible as a 9 year old. Favorite few got gold medals and the remaining were left to wonder what did they do wrong? At the tender age of 13, young girls are pursuing Modelling as career line for their slim figure. At 20, being rejected and no where to go the feeling of their career ending point has arrived, gets hooked them to drugs for reliving stress and once again suicide seems a viable option. Mostly this is also triggered as other 13 year old are now filling up more positions than 20 year old. For most, their passion turn into the only thing to trade, as a survival ability in form of teaching to other kids. The teachers/judges/leaders with growing precision have now worn the face of the new bullies.

The pressure from society was never down, it has just shifted form. It still exist and will always find it’s way to you, unless we find another resolution to it. The million dollar question still persists, should we turn our Gen next to Chucks again or let them remain focused?

The ‘Baahubali’s of Social cool’ world

With a complex subject such as Humans and their behavior, which is compounded complex, it never tires or ceases my enthusiasm and just like an excited 9 years old on a Christmas morning, I bring to you few observations that will not only make you look super cool but ‘Baahubali Cool’ in your social circle and Social media. With Olympics fever in air and chatters among the cafeteria tables about the details on winnings from the previous nights, criticizing authors/writers twitterati on their anti Indian Tweets is now perceived as the new ‘Cool’.

 

If you want to be the new Social Cool and to gain instant brownie points in terms of social likes, pride among peers & lunch group, the simplest of the way is to mock the Mocked or the opinionated. Voila!! you instantly get followers around you, an imagery bouquet of flowers, praise and friends from your social peers and people who would eventually end your statements. But, be vary, it is not as simple as it sounds. It requires years of practice to execute the mockery at the right time and many times the oppressed from the other side who has faced the situation are the best in doing to others. There are stages that you may want to  know in this which I would take you through –

1. Know the Subject inside out or Whatever: You may debate on a topic for hours and hours if you have the knowledge base but in case of being the new Social Cool, you can skip the details and may just glance the topic for a few seconds ago or have heard about it on Radio but then you allow your mind to create the rest of the story and your are prepped for discussions or even verbal war in dark times. You see, the actual knowledge will only bow you down so ignore the details, trust me.
2. Find a group/cluster (Losers) ( preferable 7 people or more): Now that doesn’t seem to be a trouble in India with a population base of more than 1.3 Bil and ever growing. You will sight such clusters in every corner of the road and turns. Most of them now prefer Social Media presence like Twitter/ Facebook to be more important than the physical presence. Even though their bodies float around in the physical world, their minds are alert and present in the Virtual world to challenge their prey or post a selfie(with pout).
3. Identify the weak / Opinionated in that group ( Your target who would take your mockery) : Now this is going to be simple, see the one individual that speaks east when the world speaks west…… That’s it…That’s the one. See no further, you have found your prey. Now act social by smiling, greeting and completing others statement first, to be socially accepted and wait for the mark.
4. (Carefully) Listen to the Prey and Launch yourself: Time has come when you listen to your prey and without letting him/her complete the story you shout the exact opposite. You raise your voice, make concerned facial expression, flap your hands as if you need to fly. Do not stop there…..Go all ammo out! get the poor class in, society in, country in and do not leave the GOD out. Try to blame the government for the corruption, education and trains that are always late. Fake a tear and shout again for honor among men code till the time your prey is appears to be a fool by others in the group and then continue with the arrows of word till he/she is either crying or running away. Chant the mantra and make sure, others chant too. Totally annihilate his existence and question the upbringing.
5. Conclude with a Glory: Fake an expression of sense of pride, smirk and be silent now to appear as the ‘Alpha’ in the pack and let others finish the job on your behalf. Give them a chance…… this is a team work. Make sure, that the social and emotional life of your prey is wrecked forever. He/she should not to be seen in in their seat at office, toilet, cafeteria, water corners, having a walk in Sun post lunch and also banish their social media accounts till they apologize to you and society, and country and GOD. Make sure they do not walk out in sun again and if they do so……circle them and attack them repeatedly with point number 4, till they regret coming out.

There you Go! this is my Mantra for your social success. You know this has worked many times and will also work in coming future. Some examples are – The PMO Twitter attacks of flying around world and not staying in India. Arvind Kejriwal, the Homosexual around world, the people who write nasty tweets about Indian Olympic Players winning silver on Social Media ( How dare they…..) and especial in India sub-continent…. People who don’t worship cricket as their first religion ( To hell with other sports….but we need medals in Olympics).

 

https://twitter.com/assistant_ozil/status/766302132785991680?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

So there you go my friends…(Actually the invisible ones who read my blog). It’s time you snatch the Glory of being super cool and be the ruler of the Social world. FYI….. posting Match updates score by score and forwards are so mainstream now. That will not fetch you enough likes or fan following. Try something new like this……..stop making Grammar errors to get extra clicks on your post. Be genuine killing machine and gain your glory. Compare your followers like ‘Before and After’ scenarios of a fat burning Pills & Tea commercials. Our sentiments have taken a clear turn from humanity to Popularity and responses have become radioactive and petty for gaining the status “Baahubali’s of Social Cool” The ‘humans’ have never cease to impress me with their behavior….. so what’s your next move around me?

 

 

 

Real World of Virtual Apps

It is said that everything started from a thought. Not in total disagreement with the opening statement of my blog-post after 2 years but with some rusty thoughts and eager fingers I key in my experience of the evolution, “The Digital Version 2.0”. My blog has been evident of having views from intellects in past however this growing digital age is just defying our progress says the growth barometer in evolutionary units. We have been so busy with engaging our perfect minds on virtual world that somehow time goes by and our commitments find excuses instead of execution. The time I used to spend thinking and pondering ( Nothing serious) is now filled with chat on social /mobile mediums and gaming apps. My universe has suddenly taken a 180 degrees turn. In Mornings, with my alarm going off, it is like my phone challenging me for a marathon, “On my mark, Thumbs up and Internet Wifi Gooo” …. and finally my day dawns instead the age old tradition of putting the toothbrush in my mouth after I got up in past. And so, I decided one day to get rid of this craving mobile monkey in my head. Do something good, have some ‘Me Time’ and continue on my journey towards human evolution.

I googled the ways to get rid off this habit and and then I  saw a new advertisement in the corner of my screen which revealed the 3 new secrets to fat loss in 14 days. I thought, “What horse crap it is!”. I clicked and then with that there was a banner in the center of the screen with a sale image for Solid Grey shoes from Vans which I wanted for summer in just Rs. 800/-. The offer was valid till day end and so I couldn’t resist but had to check them if they were in my sizes. Finally the new shoes have to be paired with Rustic Zara denims and crinkled white shirt which obviously it was suggesting at the bottom of the page and meanwhile, somewhere my bank account was screaming in corner for loosing numbers on money scale rather than my abdomen on fat scale. Bought Them….Phew! what a save! Damn good offer and I suddenly realized that one link to another the click game has started. Once again aimlessly surfing and so it was time to switch my phone up and made a mental resolution to avoid it unless it is in a form of an incoming call. Before I could lock up my screen and run away from temptation, my brother said ‘Dude! are you on Tinder?’ to which I looked at him in a dumb found expression, starting at him blankly and thinking back as to what in the name of God is Tinder and why I do not have a clue about it? With my motionless face, he said it’s a cool online dating application where you can connect with a real person in your vicinity and start chatting and dating after you have successfully collected their like back. As if there was a volcano of joy, dormant from ages, inside me just erupted to life. I mean that is so cool and before I could think twice, Tinder downloading 8 mb /14.99 mb ( Downloading in progress). I couldn’t wait …Yayyy! Finally done and installing………

With Excitement I created my account and posted some fancy images with variations to create a jazzy profile and the options started populating my screen. I think I was so happy that day, that a tear rolled down my  cheek. To hell with time without Mobile, in fact mobile phone entered time and space under reservation. Potty time, Lunch time, Gym time, traveling to and fro from work time and so did the memory usage for Selfies grew. Selfie with a new shirt, Selfie in a pet store ( With no intention to adopt but to have picture with one), selfie with mom, neighbor and even watchmen and dhoobhi ( title…..hamara Dhoobhi). Swiping left and right with the hope the next one is as interesting as Angelina from Mr. and Mrs. Smith, the marathon race of thumb swiping never ceased. Got some likes back and the then started the chatting phase. The name, age and other details seemed interesting at start but then meeting seemed like the best thing. After my 5th or 6th meet, I realized the time and amount being spent with zero benefits. Excuses were matured enough for Olympic level rejections. ” I want us to be good friends first”, “OOh! you are certainly not what you look like in your pictures” and the epic..” I am doing this to get back at my ex but this time I will move cautiously”…. “Then what the hell are you doing on tinder?” my mind was screaming in my new Vans shoes which I wore to this fancy place which served a fancy bill at the end of the meal. Hence the meets were not that frequent followed by the excuse phase for not meeting. The excitement wore off and my thumbs were sore at the sight of any key pads.Then one day, My phone sent a notification for space clean-up and deleting the not-so-frequent apps. I suddenly realized that the application which I was crazy about, a few weeks ago was occupying 14.99 MB in my phone storage and the time had come to say Goodbye. This time there was no tear but just a thumb swipe of the app to dustbin. My life had a void for many days but I was back to thinking.

 

Suddenly a thought popped up in my head about over using of my phone and this time with already dead intentions of trying my luck on any new experimental dating platform, I just called in quits. Believe it or Not as I said earlier……Everything has started from a thought and so the statement still holds the ground.

 

P.S. – The blog post is fictitious and has no significance with any person or app living or deleted from this planet. Also there is a new app in town and it deals with catching Pokemon on Go!!(Any answers). Peace!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PMJDY: Delight and Plight of a Banker

Some people walk up to banks to open accounts, others have bank accounts thrust upon them. The first day of ‘Pradhanmantri Jan Dhan Yojna’ (abbreviated to PMJDY by our acronym loving generation) saw opening of more than 1.5 Crores of bank accounts across the country. An ambitious project was flagged of with huge vigour and valour.

But the plan still has many unanswered questions left with a common man. In fact if narrowed down to basic details one might wonder if there was any detailed plan before implementing plan. First off, the announcement itself had all the Bank Managers in PSBs on their toes. What was the reason? Were they excited about helping people? New business? Growth? Nope. Targets. You read it correct. All banks promised targets to Ministry of Finance to make financial inclusion a great success. Each branch had targets. Mails were forwarded back and forth, round and round to make PM’s dream a success. Now you will ask me isn’t target necessary to get the lazy public sector employees off their ass and working? I will answer absolutely correct. But I will take you back to the mission statement of PMJDY.

The objective is to include the underprivileged, poorest of poor, the ones left out of financial system in the mainstream economy. But when you give target to a Bank Manager in a metro branch, where does he look? Where does he find such dirt poor people who are in dire need of banking services? His eyes look beyond the tall buildings, the cars, the malls and there they are. People in slums. Oh Thank God for them. He never knew they would save him some day. He collects a small troop of his subordinates, armed with forms, stationary the shining PMJDY badge on the chest; ready to help people. But wait. What do they see when they reach slums? They are not alone. The competition is already here. Manager ponders over next move. Gives up. ‘Let’s jump in’ he orders the soldiers and they march off in different directions.

The common man is bewildered. He hadn’t seen so many people in polished shoes and clean clothes since election. Is it election again? Did the government fall down? Once it dawns upon him why they are here, the interest fades. Bank account? For me? If it was offer to rob bank maybe I could think about it! He closes the door to the salesmen sent by government. ‘But sir they are not interested in opening account’, a junior bank officer whines to his Manager. ‘If we don’t, someone else will. Don’t you see these vultures circling? Push harder’, he orders.

At some places the manager observes the naked poverty of his nation. A poor old woman doing handicraft work that takes about an hour of attention and focus to get just Rs. 3.50 apiece. Along with her middle-aged mentally challenged son she makes twenty pieces a day to get seventy rupees. That’s how she survives in a metro. His heart reaches out to them. He wants to help them but the phone rings. Regional office wants to know the numbers. He promises it at the end of the day. He shuts the window to his heart, asks the junior officer to get these two accounts and walks off. Targets. Targets. Targets.

‘The country must be falling to pieces if government banks are selling their product door to door’, a cynic mutters. ‘But sir it’s for your benefit’, the junior officer explains. ‘Hell with him. He has an account. I can tell. Let’s move on’, senior officer advises.  

In branches the clerks have their eyes narrowed, unblinking, focused on screen, fingers tapping away ferociously. Targets. Targets. Targets. Or else we miss out. This is public service. This is what you signed up for. You didn’t know? Well, now you know. Banking just went from ten to fourteen hours. Suck it you loser and move faster.

‘Hey man! How many did you do?’ Branch Manager of Bank A calls another BM of Bank B. ‘Just a few’, BM B lies testing the water. ‘Talk to me in numbers,’ A is not in mood to play games. ‘Man! Everyone in city has accounts. We could manage just 180’, B confesses. ‘Let’s exchange the list. Targets are to be met’, A suggests. ‘But it shouldn’t get them dual benefits. You know. Overdraft and Insurance. Heck. Some of these people live in such desperation they wouldn’t mind putting someone amongst them through accident to get the money’, B says. ‘Don’

worry, their IDs will prevent that. Government will make sure they get benefit from just one place. They know what they are doing’, BM A assures in a tired voice.  ‘Which ID? What ID?’ B is horrified.  Bank A manager sits up straight receiver alert in his hand. ‘Are you telling me you didn’t do proper KYC before opening accounts? Basics of Banking Man. How will you track them if something goes wrong? Your superiors, Government will hold your collar. No wonder you guys are running ahead.’ ‘Stop everyone. We need to sort this out’ he hears B shouting on other end.

You cannot have a benevolent heart and an astute brain in the same body. The Bank Manager stands on the gate. You might want to open bank account of daily wage earner working on the construction site. He tells himself. This man is candidate for PMJDY. But he doesn’t have an address. Lives hand to mouth daily on his two constantly moving feet. He doesn’t have a PAN. He doesn’t go home to vote, so no ID there. And isn’t it like a vicious circle? One proof needed to get other. How does he get any Identity proof? So doesn’t he deserve the services offered by banks? Isn’t his word enough that he was born in this land and is entitled to benefits offered by Prime Minister of Nation? ‘No’, the shrewd banker answers. Distrust got emulsified with the blood running through our veins once we started working with bank. We accept nobody without KYC. The man is going away as if saying I don’t need any ‘Yojna’. I fight every day. I will survive.

The desperate Manager turns his attention to street and looks left and right. The sun set long ago. The traffic of people returning home moves slowly. ‘Do you have an account?’ He asks a passer-by. He has, but is interested in opening one for PMJDY.  The manager looks way. ‘It’s only for people who don’t have bank account. Financial Inclusion. Sampoorna Vittiya Samaveshan. You see.’ The man doesn’t understand it in any language. He walks away wondering what crime did he commit by not knowing banking? Why isn’t Modi Ji offering him something? He voted. Did those poor people do that?

 

‘What are you doing out Saheb?’ A regular customer comes. ‘It’s late,’ he looks at his watch. ‘PM order’, the bank Manger answers with a resigned smile. ‘Go home sir. He is going to Japan to bring those accounts for you’, the customer laughs. He moves to go but turns around innocently ‘Can I collect the returned cheque for which I got call in afternoon?’ ‘It’s way past banking hours. I cannot allow you’, Manager shakes his head. ‘But you all are sitting so late daily. Why not increase banking hours when you have to work anyways’, customer retorts. The manager is incredulous at the suggestion. What else now, you would want us to work Sundays too? ‘There are angry, hungry, overworked animals in there’, the Manager points towards branch door. ‘They just need a prey. They will tear you apart.’ The customer laughs, ‘I will send my servant with some refreshments in a few minutes.’ ‘I still won’t allow you in after banking hours.’

Walking back to branch doors with drooping shoulders, he wonders if this is public service. No government office is offering any help. Nobody has a data on potential candidates for PMJDY. The weight is on his shoulders to find them. To make sure they are right people while meeting targets too. Promises were made by higher authorities but if something goes bad he has to answer. With already rising NPAs his small head wonders how he will show branch profit while making sure that such plans become a success too. For Financial inclusion he wants to educate the poor. Tell them the basics and help them get correct documents. But can he do it along with his daily exhausting routine? He gives up. Too much. Too much. Maybe they will learn as they go along.

‘Mission Accomplished’, someone shouts from behind the counter as the Bank Manager enters. He feels his knees will give away. Relief floods over him. He looks at his troop. Tired eyes. Hunched shoulders. ‘Are we getting paid extra for this?’ a newbie asks. ‘You are in public service. Satisfaction is your  incentive’, the manager replies looking at the numbers on hand and using one of the computers to mail the data to regional office. ‘You are working for a better India. A better tomorrow.’ ‘But what about today’, the newbie asks, ‘Is there any word on wage settlement? Why are only banks targeted to push government projects and are expected to be so diligent when other government departments can move at their pace.’ The BM hits the send button. ‘(A) Because you are not government. You are semi government. Neither here nor there. (B) I am your superior. Don’t talk to me with that attitude.’ The newbie shifts in his seat as he says, ‘No offense sir. But I think I will study and appear for exams to get an actual government job.’ Bank manager says, ‘yes please. Do that, if you have time.’ All oldies smirk at this comment. Fresh Fools. As if we didn’t try. ‘But first open that shutter,’ Branch manager says getting up, ‘I think its Sharma’s servant. Give him that returned cheque.’ He turns around near his cabin door. ‘Go home everyone and get some sleep. This will go on. India needs banking along with food, education, employment and smartphones.’ He walks in and closes the cabin door behind him.

 

Courtesy Miss. Shraddhaa Rai [raishraddhaa@gmail.com] ( An amazing Friend and an absolute gem) 

The Twisted Simplicities of Life

My First date with the D-SLR.

The fun lies in the chase. Chasing the perfect angle, going after the right moment. Waiting for the correct posture and countless minutes before the moment passes for ever.
This was my state with D-SLR in my hand to capture the city of Vadodara.