The ‘Baahubali’s of Social cool’ world

With a complex subject such as Humans and their behavior, which is compounded complex, it never tires or ceases my enthusiasm and just like an excited 9 years old on a Christmas morning, I bring to you few observations that will not only make you look super cool but ‘Baahubali Cool’ in your social circle and Social media. With Olympics fever in air and chatters among the cafeteria tables about the details on winnings from the previous nights, criticizing authors/writers twitterati on their anti Indian Tweets is now perceived as the new ‘Cool’.

 

If you want to be the new Social Cool and to gain instant brownie points in terms of social likes, pride among peers & lunch group, the simplest of the way is to mock the Mocked or the opinionated. Voila!! you instantly get followers around you, an imagery bouquet of flowers, praise and friends from your social peers and people who would eventually end your statements. But, be vary, it is not as simple as it sounds. It requires years of practice to execute the mockery at the right time and many times the oppressed from the other side who has faced the situation are the best in doing to others. There are stages that you may want to  know in this which I would take you through –

1. Know the Subject inside out or Whatever: You may debate on a topic for hours and hours if you have the knowledge base but in case of being the new Social Cool, you can skip the details and may just glance the topic for a few seconds ago or have heard about it on Radio but then you allow your mind to create the rest of the story and your are prepped for discussions or even verbal war in dark times. You see, the actual knowledge will only bow you down so ignore the details, trust me.
2. Find a group/cluster (Losers) ( preferable 7 people or more): Now that doesn’t seem to be a trouble in India with a population base of more than 1.3 Bil and ever growing. You will sight such clusters in every corner of the road and turns. Most of them now prefer Social Media presence like Twitter/ Facebook to be more important than the physical presence. Even though their bodies float around in the physical world, their minds are alert and present in the Virtual world to challenge their prey or post a selfie(with pout).
3. Identify the weak / Opinionated in that group ( Your target who would take your mockery) : Now this is going to be simple, see the one individual that speaks east when the world speaks west…… That’s it…That’s the one. See no further, you have found your prey. Now act social by smiling, greeting and completing others statement first, to be socially accepted and wait for the mark.
4. (Carefully) Listen to the Prey and Launch yourself: Time has come when you listen to your prey and without letting him/her complete the story you shout the exact opposite. You raise your voice, make concerned facial expression, flap your hands as if you need to fly. Do not stop there…..Go all ammo out! get the poor class in, society in, country in and do not leave the GOD out. Try to blame the government for the corruption, education and trains that are always late. Fake a tear and shout again for honor among men code till the time your prey is appears to be a fool by others in the group and then continue with the arrows of word till he/she is either crying or running away. Chant the mantra and make sure, others chant too. Totally annihilate his existence and question the upbringing.
5. Conclude with a Glory: Fake an expression of sense of pride, smirk and be silent now to appear as the ‘Alpha’ in the pack and let others finish the job on your behalf. Give them a chance…… this is a team work. Make sure, that the social and emotional life of your prey is wrecked forever. He/she should not to be seen in in their seat at office, toilet, cafeteria, water corners, having a walk in Sun post lunch and also banish their social media accounts till they apologize to you and society, and country and GOD. Make sure they do not walk out in sun again and if they do so……circle them and attack them repeatedly with point number 4, till they regret coming out.

There you Go! this is my Mantra for your social success. You know this has worked many times and will also work in coming future. Some examples are – The PMO Twitter attacks of flying around world and not staying in India. Arvind Kejriwal, the Homosexual around world, the people who write nasty tweets about Indian Olympic Players winning silver on Social Media ( How dare they…..) and especial in India sub-continent…. People who don’t worship cricket as their first religion ( To hell with other sports….but we need medals in Olympics).

 

https://twitter.com/assistant_ozil/status/766302132785991680?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

So there you go my friends…(Actually the invisible ones who read my blog). It’s time you snatch the Glory of being super cool and be the ruler of the Social world. FYI….. posting Match updates score by score and forwards are so mainstream now. That will not fetch you enough likes or fan following. Try something new like this……..stop making Grammar errors to get extra clicks on your post. Be genuine killing machine and gain your glory. Compare your followers like ‘Before and After’ scenarios of a fat burning Pills & Tea commercials. Our sentiments have taken a clear turn from humanity to Popularity and responses have become radioactive and petty for gaining the status “Baahubali’s of Social Cool” The ‘humans’ have never cease to impress me with their behavior….. so what’s your next move around me?

 

 

 

Evolution of Human-Jurassic Age

Certainly we dwell no longer in the Jurassic Age where being Physically Fit has been the test for survival of the fittest. We need to leave back the time when we were under physical stress and evolve our thinking abilities beyond the horizons of time.

The thing that I am proposing here might be psychologically unacceptable at start but I am sure my facts are right in this context. We humans have been under a lot of physical challenge since history can recollect. The great Pyramids of Egypt and Taj Mahal of India didn’t spring to life with modern day technology.

However the awakening of this thought came to me when a bar brawl went bad and one of the victim was fatally injured. Alcohol once consumed can make a man go in many directions but straight. Fight started with the favorite team in a cricket game and ended with a person in hospital. This thought shook me and all my reasoning brain cells.

We no longer live in an age where we crack rocks and train dinosaurs like Fred Flintstone to make our daily bread and wine and then cool off in a local bar. We are ‘civilised’ in our corporate culture and even at manufacturing sites compared to yesteryears. Thanks to the modern technological miracles, a press of a button in one continent can trigger a chain of actions in entirely different continent and work has become more fruitful.

Hence we are no longer labour bound as most of the activities have been taken care of. How about taking care of our mental advancements. There is human psychology that might study the depths of human mind and it’s adaptation of new thoughts. Albeit all the developments, there are still cases of rape, kidnapping, adultery, acid attacks and mugging. Blame poverty for one and corruption for another but where is a generalised reason.

This is the point where we fail to EVOLVE mentally. This clearly indicates even though we have surpassed our comfort physically we are not ready to change mentally. Blame one’s ‘Genetic’ and you make the entire debate looking like a spacegoat. Perhaps, if I could rest my arguments with Genes to be entirely at fault, However they are not.

There works a Greedy Algorithm by default in our minds that takes pleasure in actually explaining the entire situation i.e. we refusing to evolve mentally. We find alternates to make a simple understanding and hence do not push our brain cells to think beyond our “Comfort Thinking Zone”. If we do fall in a situation of mental complexity we tend to Google, call someone else who understands better and or give up and move away. Somehow we have closed our minds to thinking that everything that happens is routine and is no brainer activity, in short we are Lazy thinkers.

Greedy algorithms determine the minimum number of coins to give while making change. These are the steps a human would take to emulate a greedy algorithm to represent 36 cents using only coins with values {1, 5, 10, 20}. The coin of the highest value, less than the remaining change owed, is the local optimum.

This is the reason when any thing that plays with our thoughts and fantasies comes across as a mental orgasm, for example: Sherlock holmes thinking to solve a case or spontaneous flirting with a stranger online.

The only solution to Evolve mentally is try and stop the ‘Greedy Algorithm’ at play and work around reasoning and questioning of everything. Time consuming process but are we ready to take the risk or be as primitive in thoughts as our ancestors were?