The ‘Baahubali’s of Social cool’ world

With a complex subject such as Humans and their behavior, which is compounded complex, it never tires or ceases my enthusiasm and just like an excited 9 years old on a Christmas morning, I bring to you few observations that will not only make you look super cool but ‘Baahubali Cool’ in your social circle and Social media. With Olympics fever in air and chatters among the cafeteria tables about the details on winnings from the previous nights, criticizing authors/writers twitterati on their anti Indian Tweets is now perceived as the new ‘Cool’.

 

If you want to be the new Social Cool and to gain instant brownie points in terms of social likes, pride among peers & lunch group, the simplest of the way is to mock the Mocked or the opinionated. Voila!! you instantly get followers around you, an imagery bouquet of flowers, praise and friends from your social peers and people who would eventually end your statements. But, be vary, it is not as simple as it sounds. It requires years of practice to execute the mockery at the right time and many times the oppressed from the other side who has faced the situation are the best in doing to others. There are stages that you may want to  know in this which I would take you through –

1. Know the Subject inside out or Whatever: You may debate on a topic for hours and hours if you have the knowledge base but in case of being the new Social Cool, you can skip the details and may just glance the topic for a few seconds ago or have heard about it on Radio but then you allow your mind to create the rest of the story and your are prepped for discussions or even verbal war in dark times. You see, the actual knowledge will only bow you down so ignore the details, trust me.
2. Find a group/cluster (Losers) ( preferable 7 people or more): Now that doesn’t seem to be a trouble in India with a population base of more than 1.3 Bil and ever growing. You will sight such clusters in every corner of the road and turns. Most of them now prefer Social Media presence like Twitter/ Facebook to be more important than the physical presence. Even though their bodies float around in the physical world, their minds are alert and present in the Virtual world to challenge their prey or post a selfie(with pout).
3. Identify the weak / Opinionated in that group ( Your target who would take your mockery) : Now this is going to be simple, see the one individual that speaks east when the world speaks west…… That’s it…That’s the one. See no further, you have found your prey. Now act social by smiling, greeting and completing others statement first, to be socially accepted and wait for the mark.
4. (Carefully) Listen to the Prey and Launch yourself: Time has come when you listen to your prey and without letting him/her complete the story you shout the exact opposite. You raise your voice, make concerned facial expression, flap your hands as if you need to fly. Do not stop there…..Go all ammo out! get the poor class in, society in, country in and do not leave the GOD out. Try to blame the government for the corruption, education and trains that are always late. Fake a tear and shout again for honor among men code till the time your prey is appears to be a fool by others in the group and then continue with the arrows of word till he/she is either crying or running away. Chant the mantra and make sure, others chant too. Totally annihilate his existence and question the upbringing.
5. Conclude with a Glory: Fake an expression of sense of pride, smirk and be silent now to appear as the ‘Alpha’ in the pack and let others finish the job on your behalf. Give them a chance…… this is a team work. Make sure, that the social and emotional life of your prey is wrecked forever. He/she should not to be seen in in their seat at office, toilet, cafeteria, water corners, having a walk in Sun post lunch and also banish their social media accounts till they apologize to you and society, and country and GOD. Make sure they do not walk out in sun again and if they do so……circle them and attack them repeatedly with point number 4, till they regret coming out.

There you Go! this is my Mantra for your social success. You know this has worked many times and will also work in coming future. Some examples are – The PMO Twitter attacks of flying around world and not staying in India. Arvind Kejriwal, the Homosexual around world, the people who write nasty tweets about Indian Olympic Players winning silver on Social Media ( How dare they…..) and especial in India sub-continent…. People who don’t worship cricket as their first religion ( To hell with other sports….but we need medals in Olympics).

 

https://twitter.com/assistant_ozil/status/766302132785991680?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

So there you go my friends…(Actually the invisible ones who read my blog). It’s time you snatch the Glory of being super cool and be the ruler of the Social world. FYI….. posting Match updates score by score and forwards are so mainstream now. That will not fetch you enough likes or fan following. Try something new like this……..stop making Grammar errors to get extra clicks on your post. Be genuine killing machine and gain your glory. Compare your followers like ‘Before and After’ scenarios of a fat burning Pills & Tea commercials. Our sentiments have taken a clear turn from humanity to Popularity and responses have become radioactive and petty for gaining the status “Baahubali’s of Social Cool” The ‘humans’ have never cease to impress me with their behavior….. so what’s your next move around me?

 

 

 

Inner Intervention is the Need of the Hour.

Sometimes you don’t have anything on your mind and sometimes you want every crap to be out. Sometimes you get carried away by something and others hardly pay attention. But most of the time things that sooth our souls and give us reason to be happy are just a thought of someone else’s picture. We struggle our asses everyday to look like that, be like that and finally to live like that and when we are tired we start to compromise on anything that is second best. Indulge in affairs that we aren’t and meet with our end.

We humans are flawed to the crescendo  of our heartbeat. If one has to ask a religious preacher or a future teller, “What shall be the reason of my death?” then I assume one needs to go NO far than his nose distance. You might wonder what and where is this blog post taking you, well people fasten up your seat belts and get ready for a roller coaster ride. We might dig a little deeper and have an inner Intervention.

Let’s roll it from the top. During the kids phase, the only life we enjoy is a high raised bench -‘ Kids climb up and jump down’, They do it again and again. Seeing one the rest of the pack follows. Now once they are tired they might hit a break but we still would give it another shot. At that point of time, the concept of LIFE revolves around two things – the high raised bench and how free spirited they are. Don’t get carried away with the innocent foolishness kids are up to.

As we age we are now in completely different phase. We believe living up like a Pop star/celebrity life is the ultimate life. People dream of the fun of  unending parties and “If it is on TV, then it must be true” syndrome. Well what about the high raised benches in past and the free spirit living. True that all jobs in world don’t make you own palaces but then you don’t need more than a meter or two land to sleep and refresh yourself for tomorrow.

This thinking has led many motivated youngsters to just be more and more Self Centered. All they think of is ‘I should be pretty, I should be the one with maximum friends, I should be the one with most money to splurge around and I should be the one to have maximum girls or boys to my disposal’.  Well this is a reason there are more than 20,000 people who everyday land up in Mumbai, Capital of Bollywood just to be the Next Big Thing. 

We now lack human values. The first thing when we spot an accident is not the idea to help the victim but to remove our phones and take a video to post online as this is going to upgrade the ‘cool’ status. We are more depressed now then our forefathers. Group Drinking, smoking, shop till you drop, casual relationships and getting high once or twice were not the labels used to describe our ancestors but have been created to fill the present generation in classification society.

Well you might call this BAD but trust me this is not bad. Infact this is opposite of Bad. This is really important. The key here is every individual is a ticking time bomb. This bomb is preserved till his actions do not over power his mind. Once that is done the actions turn into habits and habits turn into destructive behaviours not only of self but of others too. Well this is the key to exit. It’s your cue to understand that these things don’t just happen but I believe if there exist a higher power he makes everyone with a flaw and that flaw then ends the person.

Hence understand what is that BAD in you. Work on it, take guidance, talk to people around you, write it down, distract your mind from it and try not to let it overpower you. Rich and famous are even Gangsters and Dons but the end they receive by a single bullet to their head is still better than a tortured life you would like to lead. Say NO to other’s picture of perfection and create something that is YOU.